Honor Through the Marriage
Posted by Pastor on March 8, 2010
Bible text: 1 Peter 3:1-7
Sermon audio here.
Discussion of this text is usually dominated by the instruction for wives to submit to their husbands. While that is certainly something to be evaluated, 1 Peter 3 is not primarily a marriage manual or treatise on gender roles. This passage is part of a larger group of illustrations Peter uses to help his readers understand what living like an Elect Exile looks like. Missing the main cultural point of the passage will lead us to apply the text in all kinds of goofy ways.
The key is the word “Likewise” in verse 1 and in verse 7. The word refers back to a concept Peter has already discussed and sets the wives/husbands instructions firmly in that context. The most recent illustration was addressed to slaves at the end of chapter 2. There, the main thought was for slaves to “be submissive to their masters with all respect.” (The word translated “respect” is literally “fear”, but most translators understand the usage of “fear” conveying the sense of “respect” to be the best translation option here.) Since “be submissive” is repeated in the instruction to wives, it is not likely to be the clause to which the “likewise” refers. Therefore, it calls up the context of living with all respect in your given cultural context, in a way that glorifies Christ and demonstrates that the gospel is the path to the most honorable life. This “with all respect” governs both the instructions to wives and to husbands.
Wives are to “be submissive” to their husbands – and they are to do so “with all respect.” The form this will take will vary from society to society, but the life of a believing wife will always be oriented to displaying the goodness of God’s will. God made Adam first, and then Eve as a helper to him. Scripture fully instructs us that women and men are fully and equally made in the image of God, but also that they are created for different roles in Creation. I also think that the specific form these roles will take varies from culture to culture and have little time for those who dogmatically teach lists of what men and women are “allowed” to do. Yet it is clear that the testimony to the world of believing wives is strongest when they are intentionally practicing respect toward their husbands.
In the sermon, I defined biblical marital submission this way: “My husband is responsible for my family’s plan, and I am responsible to help his plan to succeed.” So often, we think of this calling to this kind of service as a distasteful second-class position. But it is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus fulfilled the plan of his Father, even though it cost him something and required humility. In fact, the Son, because he loves the Father, only does what he sees the Father doing. For this reason the Father loves the Son and gives him the name that is above all names. Marital submission is not intended to be the “lesser” position in marriage. It is a reflection of the Son of God and a worthwhile witness to the community of your exile. And remember, this is the point of the passage in Peter: how does an Elect Exile live so as to best demonstrate the practical honor of the gospel?
Husbands are given only one verse in this section. It is not because they already great, but because men do not have as many social or cultural barriers to their activities as slaves and wives (especially in ancient cultures). Men have more freedom to do whatever they want to do, and Peter expects that they will do it in a way that brings honor to Christian living. Still, Peter corrects a deficient view of the culture, than domination of one’s wife is a key to happiness in life. Peter reminds men that their wives are fully daughters of our kingdom’s King, and that they are fully deserving of all respect. Men are not the heads of the household because they are any better than women, but only because God gave them that job – and they will be held accountable for how well they fulfilled their job. Whatever being “weaker” means, husbands need to understand that God has entrusted their wives into their care – and they need to be patient and exercise that care in a way that “honors” (i.e. “ascribes worth to”) their wives. AND – back to context – they are to do it in a way that demonstrates the excellency of the Christian faith.
You don’t have to be a slave, wife, or husband to understand and apply these instructions to your life. These are merely common points on the ancient social scale. The instructions to slaves apply to many work, church, and organizational situations. The instructions to wives apply to anyone whose position is dependent on another. The command to husbands is for all of us when we find ourselves in the dominant social position. These illustrations are just that – illustrations. They are like case law examples from which we see the dominant principles in action so that we can apply them to other life situations not directly addressed by Scripture. See what faith lived out looks like in these situations, and then, in faith, live your own life as an Elect Exile – bearing witness to your community of the power of the Christian life.
There you go, putting things “in context” again.
In the audio, you made some comparisons about Christ’s submission that didn’t make it into the text. Those were good, but not quite good enough to go back and listen to again.
Definition of a man: he does what needs to be done.
Definition of submission: work the system.